Actor Anupam Kher, who has been married to actor-politician Kirron Kher for three decades, opened up about their relationship in a new interview. He said that he finds the idea of compatibility overrated, and cited older generations as examples of how to make a marriage work. He also admitted that he doesn’t have ‘the best marriage in the world’, and that he has hurt his wife on occasion.
He also said that it is perfectly natural for ‘the fire to fade’ after some years, and that managing a romantic relationship can be ‘exhausting’. The veteran actor opened up about modern love, and explained why he doesn’t understand some of its key markers. “The moment you find a person who is 10%, 20%, or maximum 30% (on your wavelength) get married to them.
Discover the relationship afterwards. Love is the most confusing emotion in today’s time. You live with somebody, or you are in a relationship with somebody to discover what kind of person they are. But there is no sense of amazement, there is no sense of wonder about that person. I think a relationship should (turn into a marriage) when it is still being discovered. The rest of the things can be discovered over life.”
When asked if he really believes that compatibility shouldn’t be ascertained before marriage, the actor continued, “How long have your parents been married? Did they look for compatibility? Did my parents look for compatibility? I like to accept people as they are, and I like people who want to explore. I just feel, kya ukhaad loge compatibility dhoond ke (What will you achieve by looking for compatibility)?”
Opening up about his own marriage, he said, “I accepted the fact that there will be failures in life, and that you have to work at yourself. That’s why I have achieved success both professionally and personally. It’s not like I have the best marriage in the world.” The video cut at this moment, and continued with Anupam saying, “Exhaustion is a part of any relationship.
At some stage, that so-called fire may disappear. But memories will remain, and your intention to work on the relationship will remain. That is what has remained in my relationship. I know I have hurt her sometimes, but what I have kept alive is my respect for her, my compassion, and my togetherness of emotion.”
Anupam and Kirron tied the knot in 1985, after she ended her relationship with her first husband, Gautam Berry. She had a son, Sikandar, with her former husband.
